shaping up a future

it's always a case of concave versus convex
curving outwards rather than in, flexing this way rather than that
deep in my subconscious that is the reason for all of this
if only i could be concave
instead of taking up literal space, the mental is so much more worthy

no wonder he doesn't like you.
ginormous fatty mess.

about a late night

the flicker of eyes, slowly one way then the next
drinking in your surroundings but you keep your mouth shut
about everything you've seen and heard
this is the part where your senses all blur into one
and you cannot decipher past from present
because in the future it all ends up as a choice, a decision we were once free to make

i chose to love you
and you chose to never know that
tonight, i will keep my eyes and ears shut
i will keep quiet and i will not feel a thing
i cannot, must not, will not taste you on my tongue
you are a barrage of emotions but i'm sorry
this platform is full there is no room for your complexities

let the rays cut through your sleep
and wake you slowly
and i hope, when your eyes are adjusting and your ears are flooded with sounds
that you think of me and only me
and that you can still feel the brush of my hands
as i waved goodbye

that's a lot of red

nobody ever tells you what you're supposed to do
because you're meant to figure it all out by yourself
but when we mess up (which is inevitable) they come crashing down
like the vicious waves that would have taken penelope
if only she weren't part naiad.

we should all be born part naiad, that way the waves wouldn't get us down
but our failures = anchors